Hey um so this is my first post in here and i dont do this often and im just a teenagers so i'd love it if you could post constructive crit

Stuck in the middle of turbulent winds
All i hear is the voice that has abandoned me
I can see the moonlight, i can see the shore
As the tide stakes it's claim

Even when the light presents the obvious
Just to see what lay between
The mind and the mouth, the eyes and the heart
Of the one who fell from grace

Im sick of trying to be something im not
It's over for you, so it's over for me
Im a human so im perfectly flawed
And i just cant commit this fraud

That fallen angel who left me feeling dissapointed
Just a little bit passed over
Overlooked like a object, thrown away unheard of
Just like the whispers in the wind

Enough of this pseudo attraction
I'm sick of this half full moon
All i need is the ultimate satisfaction
This tide helps create the monsoon that is me

Im sick of trying to be something im not
It's over for me, so it's over for you
Im a human so im perfectly flawed
And i just cant commit this fraud

I should of known your already gone
It's already been flushed out of you
Flushed out of me it's time to be withdrawn
Stuck on the shores of dissapointment because of you

First off good job to everyone thats posted lyrics/ poem there all really good alot of diffrent styles wich is good to see....anyways ive been writing for abt 6 years now and i just thought i would see what you all thought, so heres a couple of my lyrics/ poems i have writtern over the past years! xXx

P.S. these may seem a little dark but not all my writing is like this...Thanks xXx

KNOCKING

Theses days are dull I cry but why,
For what theses days hold im unsure,
Never knowing what to do and or say,
Seeping dreams never come true,
Why can't it be easy,

Beating head with my clenched fist,
Pulling hair but never the plug,
My nightmares come a knocking,
Answering with whole heart,
Why can't you just stop......


Knocking,

Knocking, Apon my cranium, sore,
So hard, theres no escape,
Not a lie or sound spoken,

Knocking,

Knocking, Inside my head, it swells,
Bang bang, how it sang,
No one there, not a soul


My time is coming but what for,
Wish I knew why, Tell Me......
In sickness and health,
Marriage straight from hell,
For keeps im sure,

Racking brain, soul and heart,
Gritting teeth screaming to myself,
Crying eyes are weary once more,
My lovers here to stay,
For keeps, we'll see,


Knocking,

Knocking, Apon my cranium, sore,
So hard, theres no escape,
Not a lie or sound spoken,

Knocking,

Knocking, Inside my head, it swells,
Bang bang, it sang,
No one there, not a soul


Surgical mission insumes,
Taking time to get it right,
You scream but falling on deaths ear,
Your turn to weep, now you know,
Our marriage in pieces,

Widowed but I'll be fine,
Sang one to many sad sad songs,
Colour filters in, my heart heats,
New love, for whom I adore,
Our marriage only begins




LESS HIS THRONE

never wanted it all
a bedrock of gloom
why dont they just call
into this shadow consume

i am dead to all my friends
no-one to call my own
sick of everything ends
blackend thoughts grown

raised inside my mind
a tower of pride
shining summers hard to find
it made my darker side

cant you see through
this wall im building
im sorrow and not you
watch me simply falling

why am i consumed
filling this room with smoke
never alight always fumed
intoxicating, my mind is broke

the burning king, less his throne

wishing for my end to begin
lungs fill, exile tastes good
wanting is that my sin
blackness calling, i knew it would


im suffocating my thoughts
in one last attempt
to convert what you tought
and make you repent

its not about you
its not about me
i'll get out of the blue
i'll finally be free

i write like nobody else
in my head, hands or paper
i wish the world would melt
dig my shallow grave, call the undertaker

my thoughts are broken
my hearts on fire
the day you are taken
to your funeral pyre

why am i consumed
filling this room with smoke
never alight always fumed
intoxicating, my mind is broke

the burning king, less his throne

wishing for my end to begin
lungs fill, exile tastes good
wanting is that my sin
blackness calling, i knew it would


the most beautiful thing in life
is when my worries die
no more stabbing with knife
to myself i do cry

when everythings ok
i'll be there at the end
to make sure you feel the same way
my releif is yours my friend...

...no man who thought he was invincible, ever showed the world his feelings!!!

xXx